Out of Sight, Off Track, and Overthinking: Why ADHD Storytelling Is Anything but Straightforward
There’s a meme doing the rounds, a flowchart of ADHD storytelling. It shows a simple, straight line for non-ADHD conversations, while the ADHD version zigzags wildly through side-stories, forgotten points, tangents, and apologies before sometimes… maybe… landing back at the point.
It’s amusing because it’s true. Oh my, it is most definitely true.
If you have ADHD, chances are you’ve lived this. If you’re neurotypical, you’ve probably been on the receiving end, politely listening while wondering where the story is going. But this isn’t just a quirk or bad habit. There’s genuine neuroscience behind why ADHD storytelling follows a completely different route and why it can leave you feeling embarrassed, frustrated, or exhausted long after the conversation ends.
Let’s talk about what’s really going on.
It’s Not Just Forgetfulness; It’s How ADHD Brains Are Wired
Telling a story is more complicated than people realise. You need to:
Hold the main point in your head.
Keep track of where you are in the story.
Filter out unrelated thoughts.
Notice how your listener is reacting.
This all relies on working memory, attention control, and sequencing skills, areas the ADHD brain tends to struggle with.
✅ Working memory means you can hold a few chunks of information in your head at once. ADHD reduces that capacity, so details slip away faster.
✅ Attention regulation means focusing on your main point while filtering out distractions. ADHD makes your attention wander, often hijacked by more interesting, newer thoughts.
✅ Emotional regulation means being able to stay calm, avoid spiralling, and read social cues accurately. In ADHD, emotions run high, making it harder to stay present in the moment.
Pattern Recognition: Why You Keep Jumping Tracks
One key driver of ADHD storytelling chaos is hyperactive pattern recognition.
The ADHD brain is brilliant at spotting connections. You mention one thing, and your brain lights up with “This reminds me of…” It’s like a search engine firing off matching memories, similar situations, or random but exciting thoughts.
It’s not random or silly; it’s your brain doing what it’s good at: linking ideas, seeing connections, and pulling information together.
✅ That’s why ADHD is linked with creativity and fast thinking.
✅ But it’s also why your brain swaps out the original story for the newer, more interesting thought.
Think of it like a computer’s RAM; you start telling Story A, but a stronger memory (Story B) pops up, overwriting the memory “in progress.” Like when your computer freezes after trying to run too many tabs, retrieving the original point becomes nearly impossible.
This is why you’ll often hear yourself say:
“Hang on, where was I going with this?”
Or you’ll finish a side-story, feel a bit lost, and have to awkwardly steer back to the original thread… if you can even remember it.
It Doesn’t End When You Stop Talking
For many with ADHD, the storytelling doesn’t just derail in the moment; it haunts you after the fact.
You replay the conversation, cringing at tangents or moments you felt you rambled.
You obsess over micro-expressions: “Did they just smile politely? Were they bored?”
You feel embarrassed for oversharing, for losing track, or for making the conversation “all about you.”
You might even convince yourself you ruined the whole interaction.
This post-conversation spiral is part of the rumination and rejection sensitivity often tied to ADHD. Your brain keeps replaying the scene, trying to make sense of what went wrong, even if, in reality, it was completely fine.
This Isn’t a Personality Flaw
Let’s be clear: this isn’t about laziness, lack of intelligence, or poor social skills.
It’s about:
✅ A working memory bottleneck that drops information too quickly,
✅ Dopamine-seeking attention that prefers novelty over repetition,
✅ Hyperactive pattern recognition that constantly fires off new connections,
✅ And a tendency to overanalyse social interactions after the fact.
It’s not just you. It’s how ADHD brains function.
What Can Help (That Doesn’t Involve Silencing Yourself)
You don’t have to turn yourself into a brief, robotic storyteller. But there are ways to make it easier on yourself (and your listener):
1. Use Story Anchors: If it’s important, jot down a word or phrase to keep you on track, or mentally rehearse the ending you’re aiming for.
2. Ask Permission to Ramble; Normalise It: “I might bounce around a bit; feel free to interrupt me.” This reduces shame and makes the conversation feel collaborative.
3. Pause and Self-Correct Without Apology: Saying “Wait, back to my point…” isn’t embarrassing; it’s honest, and most people appreciate it.
4. Ask for feedback; if it’s appropriate in the situation (it won’t always be), check in with your listener. A simple, “Did that make sense?” or “Were you with me until the end?” with a smile, shows you care about their experience and aren’t afraid to be a little vulnerable. It can also help ease the anxious overthinking that often comes after telling a story.
5. Reduce Post-Chat Anxiety - After big conversations, distract your brain: go for a walk, listen to music, or do something physical to avoid the mental replay loop.
6. Remind Yourself What You Bring: ADHD storytelling might be messy, but it’s often funnier, richer, and more engaging. You notice things others miss. You make connections that others fail to notice. That’s a strength.
For the Neurotypicals in the Room…
If you’re on the receiving end of ADHD storytelling:
Be patient with tangents; they’re rarely intentional.
Gently guide back to the point if needed, “So you were saying about…”
Remember: it’s not attention-seeking; it’s how their brain processes thought in real time.
After, offer reassurance. A simple statement like "I enjoyed chatting with you" can help calm an ADHD brain that is replaying every moment.
Final Thought
ADHD storytelling isn’t broken; it’s just different. It’s colourful, unpredictable, and often wildly entertaining. Sure, it takes a few detours, but it gets there… eventually.
The goal isn’t perfection. It’s self-awareness. With a little strategy and a lot more self-compassion, you can tell your story, tangents and all, without feeling like you have to apologise for how your brain works.
✅ For those making or sharing content: ask yourself, does this reflect the whole picture, or just the viral-friendly slice?
✅ For those watching: if it resonates, great. But if it oversimplifies your experience, that’s not your fault. ADHD isn’t a trend. It’s a lifelong condition that deserves more than a punchline.
If this helped you make sense of your experience, maybe it’s time to take the next step?
At NeuroFX, we specialise in understanding the parts of you or your child that might have been misunderstood or misdiagnosed for years. We offer thorough, evidence-based assessments for ADHD and autism (ASD) in both adults and children, with a clear, supportive process from screening to diagnosis and treatment where needed.
Whether you’re exploring this for yourself, your child, or someone close to you, it starts with a conversation.
You can begin with our free online screening tools, or if you already feel ready, you’re welcome to book a full assessment directly.
We’re here when you’re ready.
